Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
