I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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