wat bout pragnant strippers??
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
