The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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