I heard we made out
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Shame - the story of my life.
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