Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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