direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
