Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
