How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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