So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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