i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
