We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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