Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
this is an emotional support booty call
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
