just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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