i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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