super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
