I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Randomize
