make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wear drunk well.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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