my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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