So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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