Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Watching her eat just hurts me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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