i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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