Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
