Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
