When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
