apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
