operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My penis needs a shock collar
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
