So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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