What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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