i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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