i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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