i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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