my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
