can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
