That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
