Sry I called you an 8
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
