I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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