No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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