But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
