the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize