I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
