I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
