cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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