After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
