I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
