the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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