are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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