He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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