I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
