Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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