omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize