NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
