In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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