My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
