guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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