Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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