is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
