Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
