...so i touched it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
