Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
